Banana phobia

I have to confess something: I love bananas. I don´t know why, but I have this extremely intense inclination towards these yellow, finger-shaped fruits which make the bowel movement procedure much easier. I just love eating them--- the perfect dessert after a hearty meal.
That is, until yesterday.


Yesterday, I was at Beate Uhse (and for those of you who don´t know what it is, it´s an erotic shop where you can buy absolutely anything that fulfils your lascivious fantasies), accompanying a friend of mine to buy a little something she had been craving for these last few months.
I´m not there often... and in fact, the last time I was ,was when I bought leather thongs for a friend of mine as a prank gift for her 17th birthday (which was freaking expensive, mind you!).
You see, I´m not really into such kind of things......
I´m not sure why. I mean, I am open-minded.
(But maybe it´s because of the fact that I´m not exactly comfortable about e.g the thought of sticking something bigger and wider than a cucumber into any part of my body...unless it´s edible food, of course. And with edible, I mean 100% edible. And into the mouth. Oh-- And unless it´s a manifestation of love.)
Anyway, when we were there, I encountered the most peculiar-looking things.
Vivid, perverse images started to appear in my head, disarraying my train of thoughts and also the lunch I had had in my stomach. I felt as if I were in some horrid pornographic nightmare.
My friend then called my name...and I still thank God in my prayers for not letting me puke there and then.
So I went to her, and after having paid for the present, we went straight to her house where she had assembled several people for a costume houseparty she wanted to give.
The party wasn´t even half as bad: people were dressed up pretty creatively (I was dressed as the typical White Lady): there were Batmans and Zorros, Angela Merkels, ghosts, prostitutes and thugs... even wannabe psychotic doctors; I even met a nice gender-confused cowboy.
So after hours of dancing and chatting, I was on my way to my friend´s parents´ humongous bedroom where I had left my bag earlier,and upon entering the room, I was confronted with one of my lovely friends, teary-eyed, cracking up and stark naked.
Almost automatically, I asked her what was wrong, all the while thinking that I would have to hit her boyfriend into pieces any second now...
and well, guess what had happened? Let´s just say her boyfriend had put the banana that was laying on the dining table into the wrongest place.
I was shocked. My heart stood still---and then laughed. I laughed and laughed and laughed until I was about to asphyxiate myself from too much laughter. By the end of the evening, we were at the hospital(she donned on some clothes first, of course)... and well, ever since, I´ve promised myself NOT to go near to that hospital.
It was one of the most American-Pieish days of my life.

Moral of the story? Be careful with bananas. They´re more dangerous than you expect!



Renee

P.S: This is by far the most inept post in my blog, so...God, forgive me for I have sinned.